Reason to fight.

I know that I will always struggle with certain issues that I have. And I know that life will never really be easy. I know that things will make me sad, and make me hurt. I know that I'll spend days just laying in bed, crying and being scared and days where I miss the old days. Miss ex-boyfriends and how comfortable I felt with them. Miss the days of partying and getting so fucked up that I would forget the world for those few hours. I know there will be days where I don't want to carry on, but I also know that I have reasons to live, reasons to never give up, and reasons to always fight.
Reason number one: My friends are the most important things in my life. With out them I wouldn't be the girl I am today. I wouldn't be able to live with out them, with out their advice and support. They hold my hand through everything and I'm so thankful for those people. Lydia and I go out to Taco Bell and talk about things that I couldn't talk about with any of my other friends. We talk about horrible relationships that we have had with boys, friends and family members. I can cry in front of her and not think a thing of it. She's been through so much and she still carries on and she's a huge reason that I am brave enough to keep trying. I know that she is a person that will be in my life till the day I die.
Dana is the kind of person that knows just when to back down or tell me to get over it. She never sugar coats anything and I need that. She's held my hand while I cried over Kelsey, and over Drew. She was with me when I felt like I should just die, and told me that I had so much more to live for. She is my drinking buddy, my shower partner, my lovely lady. And I'm so grateful for all the days that we have shared together and I can't wait for the future we have together.
Mags has been in my life as long as Lydia, and I would be so sad if she wasn't. She and I did not get along when we first met, in third grade. I'm so glad we put our differences aside and decided that we could be friends. She always knows how to cheer me up. The day Kelsey broke up with me she was there, and she walked into my room and asked if she could give me a hug, in her cute little voice. That helped me more the she understood.
Katie Fees is probably the newest friend I have and I feel like we've been friends for years. Sometimes she gets on my nerves, just like everyone else, but I still love her to death. She's so smart and beautiful. I'm glad that I got to know her through Discovery at Centennial High school. She's an amazing girl and she has a huge future ahead of her if she just gets certain things in her life figured out. And I know she will.
Reason number two: My family. They have put up with me for eighteen years and they have never stopped loving me. I'm so thankful that I had them to grow up with. I'm so thankful for my annoying brother, and over protective older sister.
Jennie is the person I can count on most in life. Even though she drives me up and wall and back down, she's always gunna be there for me. She's always gunna stick up for me even if she knows what I did was wrong. I love her so much and all I want for her is to be happy. Jennie has probably seen me at my worse and somehow she still manages to love me for who I am. Who she knows I could be. She got the worst of the breakups and got to deal with me completely breaking down. And I'm so happy that she was there to help me back up again.
My mother, who I didn't want to be with at all for a long time, has become one of my best friends. She also drives me nuts, but without her I wouldn't know how to grow up. Or what to do in situations that I had to face. I love her so much.
Reason number three: I've got a new, wonderful guy in my life, who has taken me completely by surprise. A guy who I think loves me more then any other boyfriend I've had. His eyes give it away. He looks at me the way Drew only did once in a while, and the way Kelsey never did. That look just makes me melt and feel so good and wanted. He puts up with all my crazy-ness. My crazy, drunken texting, and still seems to love me and want to be with me. He's the last person I ever thought I could be with. But I'm so happy with him. And scared. And it's wonderful.

THESE ARE MY REASONS TO NEVER GIVE UP.
MY REASONS TO FIGHT.