Every time an important chapter of my life ends I usually write about it. I get my closure that way. And maybe if I do that now it will help me move on, help me start something new and be happy about it. Even though I have someone in new my life I still miss you greatly, and maybe writing this will help.
I know that this probably didn't seem like such a big thing to you. I know that it didn't change your life like it changed mine. But the day you came into my life everything about me changed. You made me so happy, you made everything seem okay. You would pull up to my house and the problems of my day would melt away. You would hold me in your arms and I felt completely and totally safe. Your lips on mine made my heart flutter, and my cheeks get warm. I loved you so much. I loved everything about us. How we could be romantic and still be best friends.
You taught me that it was okay to feel things. You would hold me while I cried, laugh with me (or at me [: ) Your eyes would adore me and you said 'I love you.' Babe, if you didn't come into my life when you did I'm not sure how much longer I would lived. You changed everything about me and I'm so grateful for all the time we had together and I wish that we had more days. I wish that I would have made a bigger impact on your life. I wish you would have opened up to me the way I opened up to you. But it's over now, everything that we had is over. And I just wanted to thank you for the year we had together. Thank you for letting me be myself and making me feel loved. You always made me smile, made me blush, and laugh. Thank you for being my friend, my lover, my go to man, my everything.
There will always be a part of me that will miss you. A part of me that will miss the way we use to be. Miss the sound of your voice and the way your eyes looked at me. You helped me get through so much and I greatly appreciate everything you've done for me.
You inspired me. I have this great story because of you. I wanted to be someone you could be proud of, someone you could talk about. I wanted to be someone who was good enough to be with you. However, I guess I wasn't what you needed, I wasn't the person that made things okay for you.
I hope your find that person and they change you as much as you changed me. I hope that they impact your life in the greatest possible way. I know that you will find that person because you're such a great guy. And I know that you will be very happy with her. But I hope, while your finding her, I hope your think of me once in a while. I hope you miss the moments we had together and realize that I loved you with every ounce of my body. I hope you think of our conversations and my smile. I hope you miss my hugs and the way I would hide my face after a kiss. I hope you miss the things you loved about me as well as all my flaws. My indecisiveness and my silliness. I hope you miss my singing in the car and the way I would rub your back.
But it's time to let go. It's time to move on from those times and try to create new, wonderful, ones with different people. This will be the last time I every write about you. The last time I think of our memories as sad. From here on out I'm going to try to think of those days fondly, or not at all.
This was the hardest thing I've ever written,
Tuesday, January 18, 2011
Thursday, January 13, 2011
Lydia and I.
You are my best friend.I know that you will always be.
You are the person I go to with EVERYTHING.
The only one who has been supportive.
You're beautiful in everyway possible
I adore our moments together.
Thank you for everything.
<3
The year 2010. (it's a little late.)
The year 2010 has just flown by.
I remember last new years eve, and everything that I did. It’s so strange to think that I’m already at that time again. Looking back at the year, realizing all the things that I did, and all the things I didn’t get to do.
This has been by far one of the best years I’ve ever had. It was hard, like every year, but it was probably one of the most rewarding years I’ve ever experienced. I had certain people in my life who made everything worth while. People who helped me more then I could ever express in words. I owe you so much. You made me see that it was perfectly fine to be myself, to be my weird self. I trusted you with every fiber of my being, and I don’t think that I had ever done that before. Even though things have changed between us, I’m grateful for the things you taught me. I’ll always keep our memories close and I’ll think about how lucky we were. Everyday I spent with you was one that I’ll remember. I had so much fun with you, even when we would just sit in your car at the Walmart parking lot and talk. Thank you for everything.
My friends and family are the only reason I got through anything this year. They supported me in every way possible. They put up with my drama, my anger, my silliness and every other mood you could possibly imagine.
My family always seems to love me no matter what stupid thing I decide to do. I think that I would have just given up on me by now if I were them. But they haven’t and now I know that they never will. It just means that you guys are all stuck with me forever. HAHA.
Oh friends, friends, friends. Where would I be with out you? I defiantly met some interesting people this year. I found out that it’s really hard to be a good friend sometimes, and how selfish I really am. I’m working on that problem and I hope it’s been noticeable. I love each one of you. I love you for all the things you have told me, all the help you have given me. Some of you had to put up with me a lot more then others. Some of those ones I hardly even knew but I felt like I could tell you everything and that you wouldn’t judge me for saying those things. I felt closer to you then I felt to any of my old friends. I really could lean on you and that was probably the best thing you could have ever done for me. I respect you so much, I respect your intelligence and the way you think. You helped me too, so much more then I could ever tell you. I hope that you find everything you’re looking for one day. You deserve the best that the world can offer you.
I have kept the same group of friends since Jr. High school, and even before that. Those are the people who I can rely on. The ones who know what I’m really like behind this mask I wear. You have held my hand through the roughest times, and always stood beside me.
Probably the greatest friendship I’ve experienced is with the lovely Lydia. Seriously, I don’t understand how these people who are completely and totally wonderful just keep coming into my life. You’ve changed me in more ways then I could ever describe you. You’ve helped me out more times then I can count, and you’re always there for me. You ditched your dentist appointment to go get Taco Bell with pathetic, whiny, me. I am so lucky to have had you in my life for over ten years now. Isn’t that crazy? I remember the day we met. "HEY GIRL." I remember saying your name wrong, A-Lydia. These are memories that I will never be able to forget, memories I will never want to forget. You mean EVERYTHING to me. You better not ever leave me, ever. Remember, if we both end up alone, we’re moving in together, so we don’t become creepy cat ladies. We can just be creepy Harry Potter ladies. <3
My twin sister is my other half. We are so different from one another, but if she wasn’t a part of my life I don’t know who I would be. She’s put up with me for eighteen years and she always seems to stick up for me. I love her for who she is. I don’t ever want her to change.
Here comes 2011. Baby, let the good times roll.
I remember last new years eve, and everything that I did. It’s so strange to think that I’m already at that time again. Looking back at the year, realizing all the things that I did, and all the things I didn’t get to do.
This has been by far one of the best years I’ve ever had. It was hard, like every year, but it was probably one of the most rewarding years I’ve ever experienced. I had certain people in my life who made everything worth while. People who helped me more then I could ever express in words. I owe you so much. You made me see that it was perfectly fine to be myself, to be my weird self. I trusted you with every fiber of my being, and I don’t think that I had ever done that before. Even though things have changed between us, I’m grateful for the things you taught me. I’ll always keep our memories close and I’ll think about how lucky we were. Everyday I spent with you was one that I’ll remember. I had so much fun with you, even when we would just sit in your car at the Walmart parking lot and talk. Thank you for everything.
My friends and family are the only reason I got through anything this year. They supported me in every way possible. They put up with my drama, my anger, my silliness and every other mood you could possibly imagine.
My family always seems to love me no matter what stupid thing I decide to do. I think that I would have just given up on me by now if I were them. But they haven’t and now I know that they never will. It just means that you guys are all stuck with me forever. HAHA.
Oh friends, friends, friends. Where would I be with out you? I defiantly met some interesting people this year. I found out that it’s really hard to be a good friend sometimes, and how selfish I really am. I’m working on that problem and I hope it’s been noticeable. I love each one of you. I love you for all the things you have told me, all the help you have given me. Some of you had to put up with me a lot more then others. Some of those ones I hardly even knew but I felt like I could tell you everything and that you wouldn’t judge me for saying those things. I felt closer to you then I felt to any of my old friends. I really could lean on you and that was probably the best thing you could have ever done for me. I respect you so much, I respect your intelligence and the way you think. You helped me too, so much more then I could ever tell you. I hope that you find everything you’re looking for one day. You deserve the best that the world can offer you.
I have kept the same group of friends since Jr. High school, and even before that. Those are the people who I can rely on. The ones who know what I’m really like behind this mask I wear. You have held my hand through the roughest times, and always stood beside me.
Probably the greatest friendship I’ve experienced is with the lovely Lydia. Seriously, I don’t understand how these people who are completely and totally wonderful just keep coming into my life. You’ve changed me in more ways then I could ever describe you. You’ve helped me out more times then I can count, and you’re always there for me. You ditched your dentist appointment to go get Taco Bell with pathetic, whiny, me. I am so lucky to have had you in my life for over ten years now. Isn’t that crazy? I remember the day we met. "HEY GIRL." I remember saying your name wrong, A-Lydia. These are memories that I will never be able to forget, memories I will never want to forget. You mean EVERYTHING to me. You better not ever leave me, ever. Remember, if we both end up alone, we’re moving in together, so we don’t become creepy cat ladies. We can just be creepy Harry Potter ladies. <3
My twin sister is my other half. We are so different from one another, but if she wasn’t a part of my life I don’t know who I would be. She’s put up with me for eighteen years and she always seems to stick up for me. I love her for who she is. I don’t ever want her to change.
Here comes 2011. Baby, let the good times roll.
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