Lost.

It's funny how quickly the happiness fades.
Sure, I have things to keep me going. Like my friends and such.
I just feel empty... Even with my friends supporting me, being there for me. (And they've all been wonderful. I'm so thankful for you guys.) It's still just hard.
I think of all the times we had together, all the memories we shared and I get lonely.
I know that I shouldn't give up and I know that I'm young. But you were my everything. My whole world. Now you're gone and I'm so lost without you. I keep expecting you to show up at my house, to tell me it was all a mistake, and I know you won't.
I can't help but think you will though.
I miss you more then anything else in the world, babe.
You will always be my love. The one who taught me it was okay to feel things, to be sad, happy, angry, annoyed, and loved.
I didn't know what love was before you. I don't think I'll ever understand why this happened the way it did. Why you left me now. You kept saying how happy you were.. You must have been lying. I miss you. I miss the way you would hold me in your arms, and I would feel completely and totally safe. I miss the sound of your heartbeat in my ear.
You are the reason I'm okay today, you're the only reason I'm living actually. My life was a mess, I was a mess. I felt so alone and then you showed me that I wasn't. You cried infront of me, told me you're stories about how scary life was and how you had to keep living to make it through those times. That night you told me the story of your friend, I was planning on doing something so stupid. And that story made me stop those thoughts. Made me realize that I would be giving in to my weakness if I did what I was planning.
I'm scared with out you.
I don't want anyone to be close to me anymore.
I don't want another love.
I hate relationships.
I hate you.
But I don't.
I'm so confused, babe. I just need you.
I'm tired of this, of feeling so empty.
You'll find someone better, I know you will. You know you will.
You'll forget about me.
And I'll be sitting here, waiting for something to happen, just like always.
I love you. Forever & Always.
Goodbye.