Scared.

My heart hurts,
The first time in years I'm praying. Everything has to be okay. It just has to be.
I want to cry and run away. I can't even sit with her. It scares me to see her like this. I just want things to go back to how they were a few hours ago, when everyone was okay. I can't stop crying and I know that is not going to do me any good. But I can't help it.
Nothing good comes from crying. It just makes me feel worse, and helpless.
I can't sleep but it's all I want to do now. What if I wake up in the morning and things are worse?
I'm a bitch, a terrible person. I should be in there with her, just sitting. But I can't. I can't stop crying. It's pathetic, and I'm scared.
I want to take back everything I've ever thought about her, or all the horrible things I said. I love her. She has to know that, right? I feel like I've failed at being a daughter.
She's going to be okay. She just has to be. The world will fall apart if she isn't. My whole world will just come crumbling down. I want to feel like it's okay again, I want this worry to go away. It has to go away.
I'm sorry.
I love you.